Apparently in the wizarding world dying is not the worst thing you can do
they say you marry your mother…
14. Bellatrix or
NarcissaBellatrix was first drawn to Lord Voldemort because they both believe in an ideology that favors pure-bloods over other members of the wizarding community. Her family motto, from her maiden name of Black was “Toujours Pur”, which is French for “always pure”, which makes it clear that she was taught at a young age that pure bloods were the ideal wizards.

Revised Hogwarts House Analysis
It’s been almost two years since I did my first analysis like this, which everyone as ridiculously supportive of. Yet I have found myself wanting to make corrections to my much more bland observations then, so here we go.
Gryffindor
Gryffindor is often classified by many as the house of bravery and daring. While these are indeed Gryffindor traits, they are not Gryffindor exclusive. Rather, within this house they are classified more as the troped forms of bravery and daring that we often see in literature. These are people who want to be the heroes of their own story, and show just how bold and capable they are. It is this need to prove that goes far beyond whatever actual causes they may have to go through with such life mission statements. Gryffindors have the ability to be sudden and bold because they do not have the limitation of thinking things over to a great extent. They work much more so in the moment with very little planning, and whether or not this works out for them just depends on luck and their individual cunning. Gryffindor people tend to be very emotionally driven as their primary function, and work with their hearts first and their heads second. They will jump into something because it matters to them or just has an appeal to their interest, only to see it’s down sides as time goes on and be displeased with them. Gryffindors can be very quick to flip outlooks, mostly trying to keep a positive outlook on everything until their own mindsets or goals are threatened, at which point they can turn quite negative and “doom and gloom” feeling like powers in the universe are against them. They can lash out quite easily when like this, and often do not realize how hurtful they can be. They have a way of unleashing intrapersonal frustrations on interpersonal relationships, which can be problematic. When on their often attempted optimistic note, Gryffindors are much more boisterous and excitable in a positive light, wanting to go on any small adventure or just find different ways to go out and seize the day. Their loyalty and love is often more secluded to their friends and family, though they may often try to claim otherwise and overestimate their own affections and passions. When the chips are down, Gryffindors will show where their priorities actually lie, despite their claims to be all caring.Overall, Gryffindors are impulsive, exciteable, and daring in their endavours, with something about their own personal values they feel the need to prove. They like all houses have their negative sides, though try to ignore them with their best effort.
Hufflepuff
The unfortunate stereotype often given to the Hufflepuff house is that it is both passive and weak, and this could not be any farther from the truth. Hufflepuffs, after Slytherins, are the house type most filled with conviction. When they truly love something, they give it their full attention and do so unconditionally. Their enjoyment is obvious, but not in the way of Gryffindor where they feel the need to announce it to the world. It shows on their features and in their tones and that is all that is truly necessary for you to realize how deeply they do care about something. It is from this trait that most Hufflepuff strength comes, and they have it in great abundance. Their heart is their main point of courage, and it is from this and what they fill it with that they draw the ability to do whatever matters to them. They are much more silent about this than would be a Gryffindor or Slytherin, because they do not necessarily want any kind of recognition or to make a point, they just want to do what’s right. Hufflepuffs are also not fans of conflict, and will avoid it the best that they can, seeing it as unnecessary. That said, if someone bothers them they are much more likely to deal with this passive aggressively, rather than speaking out in a more blunt manner. Veiled sweetness is the Hufflepuff’s weapon. They are so used to being underestimated that others can have trouble within reading them, and they can use this to their advantage quite often. Hufflepuffs are the most loyal of houses in coherence with Slytherin, both in different ways yet with similarities laced within. Both believe actions speak louder than words, but Hufflepuffs are much less angrily loyal and much more so in affectionate way. They will be there for you if you need them for absolutely anything, and to them that is the most loyal thing one can do. They do not need to go leaps and bounds to prove themselves, and this works for them quite well, often. Overall, Hufflepuffs are much stronger than they are ever given credit for, and most of this stems from the fact that they do not act for themselves, but for the people that they love.
Ravenclaw
Ravenclaw is probably the least stereotyped of the houses, at least in an inaccurate way. Ravenclaws do, indeed, value knowledge above everything else, this is not untrue. The difference between this statement and the common assumption is that there are many different interpretations of knowledge. Ravenclaws are similar in the way that they all use their heads first, taking everything in and trying to keep it for future reference. The things that cause them to differ is their heart coming into play, deciding what in their inventory matters to them and what hits the mark of their passions. Whether a Ravenclaw likes to push their knowledge or not depends on the individual, but many like to show their intelligence, and will pick the subject which resonates with them the most in order to do this. When they are in their element, they are much more a relaxed and pleasant individual than they may be out of it, as then they may grow defensive in being uncomfortable with something they don’t truly know. Ravenclaw friendship and companionship is much more a boiled down thing than it can be with other houses. While they do indeed love these people dearly, they can have a difficult time showing it simply because such expression is not really something they specialize in. When they can manage such expression they do so best in words, in a poetic and fluid form that let’s you know that they mean it. They are not very defensive in terms of loyalty, as they are independent souls and expect others to be as well, settling within the idea that everyone can take care of themselves. Some can even see such defensiveness as offensive if one were to hold it with them, without understanding that person. Overall, Ravenclaws are very focused on the knowlege of the world and see intelligence as life’s key focus, but they are all individual within their passions, and do not care about your approval of them, so long as you know that they are there.
Slytherin
Slytherins are often concieved as selfish and in everything for themselves, and this makes them next to Hufflepuff the most misunderstood house. Whether or not a Slytherin is selfish is not because of their house, but because of that individual themselves. Slytherins are survivalists, they have a natural instinct for self-preservation in whatever sense that may be needed, and this can cause them to come off as cold and abrasive when they have their defenses up. It is not a desire to be unkind but one to protect and shield oneself from whatever there may be against them, and this is all that it is. Given the circumstances of the books as well as the narrative by which they are done, this is the only side of Slytherins we really get a feel of, causing the misinterpretation. That said, Slytherins know what they want, and have the skill of putting their heart fully into something without letting it cloud their actions and make them impulsive like Gryffindors often do. Slytherins are always controlled by their logic, they think things through in a matter of seconds and like to work through life like chess, being two steps ahead of everyone else at all times. Their heart carries their strength, which comes in mounds, but the amount of self-awareness a Slytherin can carry is monumental. If they do act it, they know they have because everyone word was planned out perfectly. It’s only if they get very comfortable around you that this may fall slightly, and if something goes wrong in their doing this that analytical shield will go right back up. Slytherins are the most loyal house shared with Hufflepuff, though Slytherins do this in a much more knight templar way. Loyalty is not automatically granted because of your title, you must earn it, and once you have their trust they will do anything for you, and protect you through any means that is necessary. While this is a very strong bond that they create, the moment you betray this trust is the moment you permanently lose it, because while a Slytherin may eventually forgive (though don’t plan on it) they never, ever forget if you’ve done something they’re against. Overall, Slytherins are controlled by their heart’s ambition and their mind’s planning through it and filtering out of unwanted things, and their loyalty is unwavering and instinctively protective, so long as you do meet their own code for keeping it.
Slytherin will help you on your way to greatness.
I can’t stop laughing at Harry running the fuck away, the boy who lived ladies and gentlemen.
….You realize, of course, that Hermione Granger lit a teacher on fire when she was eleven, and kept a person alive in a jar for a year when she was fourteen, and studies dark and forbidden magics for kicks, and is one of the brightest and strongest witches of her era. If she came at me, even wandless, I would aparate to Neptune to get away from her.
Hermione Granger also:
- punched Draco Malfoy in the nose for being an idiot
- purposefully performed a confundus charm on whatshsface WHILE HE WAS FLYING just so Ron would win (omfg that is so fucking dangerous)
- literally pulled a fucking Bourne Identity on her parents and managed to set them up in fucking Australia (jesus christ she literally made it so that she NEVER EXISTED wtf that’s so fucking 007)
- Convinced the Ministry of Magic to give her an incredibly dangerous and volatile device that allowed her to ALTER TIMELINES COMPLETELY (just because she was so smart, literally, that is the reason, her “potential”)
- Has enough basic survival skills and badass magic to literally disappear to the middle of nowhere and flourish AND figure out Voldemort’s plot with Harry
- Hermione also figures out not only what Voldemort’s plan is, but generally how to beat it, WAY BEFORE VOLDEMORT EVER DOES. Why? because she is just that much smarter and better at magic than everybody else
in conclusion: Voldemort wishes he could be as awesome as Hermione, that’s why he wants to kill her so bad.
Can we rehave this series with hermione as the protagonist.
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Used the Power of Research and Deductive Reasoning to Make Sure Harry Didn’t Die”
Hermione Granger and “That time I figured shit out and literally ended up petrified for the cause and it took my friends weeks to figure out that I had the research on me”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Was a Time Lord”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I Realized I was Hot and Smart and Saved Harry’s Ass with Research. Again. All the Time. Really, He Would Have Died Without Me.”
Hermione Granger and “That time Harry was too emo to actually do shit so I did shit in his name because I am the power behind the throne clearly also PS fought evil deatheaters and won”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I told Harry about the Dangers of Copying off Somebody’s else’s work that wasn’t mine and OH LOOK I WAS RIGHT”
Hermione Granger and “That Time I let Harry Decide Where to Go and What To do and we ended up wandering the forests of dean for like 5 months before saving his ass at Hogwarts”
If Hermione had been The Chosen One Voldemort would have been defeated while she was still in her crib.